Alex Silverfish
Age 4331 Jul 2008
Bethnal Green, East London (United Kingdom)
Suicide
Alex was found hanged at her East London flat. We don't know the exact date she died, but it was reportedly some time in July 2008.
London alternative scene DJs and performers including Chicken from Trailer Trash, Kaos’ HaLo-iS and Cormac from Wet Yourself will be spinning at an early evening ‘tea dance’ at infamous transgender institution Stunners this weekend, for a fund raising party celebrating the memory of legendary underground techno DJ Alex Silverfish.
The transsexual techno/ free party pioneer committed suicide in July 2007 after suffering years of violent abuse from homophobic Bengali gangs at her Bethnal Green East London estate, and the party will be raising funds for ‘Project Silverfish’, a scheme run by the Pilion Trust to help homeless and trans people in London.
Project Silverfish organiser Adele Adams (herself an equally legendary figure on London’s queer/ trans/ alternative club scene once known as Miss Cunty) said she set up the scheme after being shocked by Alex’s untimely death (Alex was just 43).
“I trained as an outreach worker with the Pilion Trust as part of my gender transition, and I felt that, since we target marginalised communities and deal with such things as homelessness, drug abuse, anti social behaviour etc, it would be beneficial as a trans woman to start a project to help other trans people in similar situations that Alex had faced,” Adele explained.
“Alex and I had lost touch and when I heard about her suicide I was totally gutted about the way she had been treated by her council and the way her case had been left to stagnate while she was suffering abuse.”
Alex had startied her DJing career in 1989 (under the moniker of DJ Lowenbandiger) and set up London’s first euro techno night ‘the Hiddenside’ at the now defunct Bar Industria, with Marco Lenzi, Nils Hess and Keith Fielder, going on to open the Silverfish record shop in 1991.
The Charing Cross Road shop, art-space and regular all night party venue served as a key hub and meeting point between London’s then thriving squat party warehouse scene and the overground worldwide techno scene and Alex rapidly became a star DJ, spinning alongside the likes of Aphex Twin, Juan Atkins, Sven Vath and Joey Beltram, in the UK and abroad. She went on to promote 287 Silverfish parties at warehouses and venues across London becoming one of the capital’s most respected and popular party hosts of the 90s. She also remained passionately committed to techno, labelling it a form of shamanism and a ‘magic ritual’ in an interview with Skrufff in 2002.
“Dancing to the rhythmic sound of the drums all night is something that men have been doing for millions of years and in those rituals there are lots of processes happening such as energy sharing between the DJ and the crowd. Magic things and real healing can happen through techno,” she said.
“When I play techno to people I feel an energy coming out of my spine and passing into the crowd, then coming back through the head. If you play good music to people you receive a vibe in exchange and it’s a formidable sensation. This sensation is really what I still play for, rather than the money for glory. That’s why I still play for free in lots of underground techno parties,” she added.
Embracing electroclash alongside techno at the start of the decade Alex also announced that she was taking steps towards changing sex from male to female and lived the remainder of her life as a woman.
Chatting to Skrufff in 2003, she spoke enthusiastically about the support she’d received from transgenderists in London’s club scene and from friends, who’d known her from her techno days, though was candid about her ongoing struggles.
“After a life of agony, four years of therapy and two suicide attempts, I’ve finally started a sex reassignment program to correct a natural error that occurred at birth,” said Alex, “Basically I’ve finally become one after a lifetime of living a double life.”
However, two years later, she spoke sadly about the hatred she routinely encountered following her decision to live as a woman, particularly from viciously homophobic gangs roaming the estates around her Hackney home.
“Experiencing aggression and receiving hate has been a constant for quite a few years, so much so that maybe I’m almost becoming used to the daily abuse,” she suggested.
“I’ve always been spiritual and ascetic and, believe that hate can be more contagious than love and everyday I try to forgive people’s ignorance and not to get contaminated,” she wrote, “At times it’s hard but there’s not other way out, We live in a society of resentment, rejection of freedom and homophobic hate.”
“Walking a lifetime with the gaze pointing down is, at the moment, the best safe-choice of many gays, lesbians and transsexuals in a country that apparently guarantees freedom around the world,” she added.
“Giving too much freedom to fascists of every faith always results in weaker groups and sections of society losing theirs and suffering,” she warned.
The following quote from The Gender Trust’s website in 2006 gives an insight into the abuse she faced in the area where she lived:
‘Hostile stares awaited us outside. An old man of Asian origin turned and followed us, shouting: “Men! Abominations! Disgusting… fake hair, fake tits: fake woman!’ but my new friends seemed unsurprised. Many other men hung around the district looking amused. I alone was flabbergasted.
“It’s OK once we get past here – they love us in the town” Alex assured me. But children on bikes followed us, shouting ‘Fucking trannies!’ and throwing bits of rubbish at us. I was livid. Alex and her friend saw this as much a part of going out as putting on one’s shoes. For them, it was.
We encountered a few rude stares after that, but on the whole we were fine on the hot streets of Bethnal Green, with its outdoor drinkers and quirky fashion boutiques to rival Camden. But returning to the house we experienced more abuse: “I’m a lad-ee!” mouthed a large group of men whilst chasing us towards the stairwell. I was scared.
Safe inside, Alex told me such harassment was her everyday life, but the council refused to rehouse her.’
Alex's death was not recorded on the official TDoR 2008 list released by https://tdor.info.
https://zagria.blogspot.com/2011/01/alex-silverfish-1965-2008-dj.html
http://skrufff.com/2009/06/alex-silverfish-remembered/
https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/nov/20/celebrate-life-transgender-day-of-remembrance
https://gendertrust.wordpress.com/2010/06/06/internal-transphobia/
https://thedjlist.com/djs/alex-silverfish/info/
