TDoR 2020 / 2020 / April / 20 / Emily Nicole Brown

Emily Nicole Brown

Age 25 (born 26 May 1994)

20 Apr 2020
Covington, Georgia (USA)

Emily Nicole Brown
Emily Nicole Brown [photo:]

Emily died by suicide. She was struggling with depression and loneliness, and had been rejected by half of the members of her family.

A friend contributed the following quote about her:

She was an amazing friend. She was so considerate, perceptive and thoughtful, she would reach out to me to offer help before I even realized I needed it. Others in our community have described her as a kind and gentle spirit with an amazingly big heart. One remembered her as the first person they came out to. She would take other girls shopping when they were first coming out and afraid to shop in the women's section on their own. She lived to help others.

All of her social media was deleted shortly after she passed, but her blog is still up. Here is a link but be advised she discusses depression and suicidal ideation in detail in some posts -

Emily had come out on 20th October 2018 but unfortunately the response from far too many was not at all positive.

October 20th 2018

I came out to everyone on Facebook

I lost half of my family. My mom (step mom who raised me and means a lot to me now) is the one, along with a couple friends, who saved me.

The family that I lost was saying nasty things to me. I was told that I was praying wrong. I was told to stop worshipping the devil and that everyone who accepts me also worships the devil. Things like “it’s just a phase.” Or “you are messing up your life.” were said to me.

Believe me, I thought long and hard about coming out. I never wanted to transition. However, when I was ready to cut off the dick just to die without a dick between my legs, I knew that I couldn’t stop. It hurt so bad having it between my legs. It freaking hurt. I had a physical pain that would never go away. Usually ibuprofen would help. However, it was the most uncomfortable feeling that I have had. I didn’t want to keep it.

My mom suggested for me to just block them and have no contact. It hurts, but thanks to living in the south, religion is a different story. My friend, Margot in a northern state is very supportive and actually shocked that my family acted that way towards me.

-- extract taken from My experience so far as a Trans Woman

At least Emily's obituary remembers her respectfully:

"She dreamed pretty dreams that never came true." Emily Nicole Brown found peace from her battles on April 20, 2020. We will miss her gentle, kind spirit. She is remembered by her parents, Jeff and Jennifer, her siblings, Jasper, Abigail, and Adwyn, all of Covington; her grandparents Cyndy Lifsey of Augusta and Roy and Merita Brown of Douglasville, as well as numerous uncles, aunts, and cousins. A celebration of life will be held at a future date. Contributions to a memorial garden can be sent to her parents at [redacted], or a donation can be made in her memory to

Editor's note: In addition to rejection and abuse from some members of her family, Emily had experienced similar behaviour from colleagues at work. Emily seemed like a person with so much potential and I can't help wondering if she would still be with us had she had been nurtured and supported in the way all newly out trans people need and deserve. Just when will society stop killing vulnerable trans people?

Emily's Facebook profile (which has been deleted since her death) was Her blog (CN: suicidal ideation) is

Report added: 18 Nov 2020. Last updated: 26 Nov 2020

Trigger warning

This site contains reports of violence against transgender people, and links to detailed reports which contain graphic imagery.

Please continue with caution.


Get me out of here!